he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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