I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
