Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
