sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
