: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
