she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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