When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
