I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
