A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
