I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she pinky promised me she was 18
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize