even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
this will be a night to untag.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
