Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
