do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
