the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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