i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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