just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
