why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
