We're facebook friends in real life
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
