I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize