I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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