I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Are we still banned from the library?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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