that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
