Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
