I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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