I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
