I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
All I want is dick and wine.
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