You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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