He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
