i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
