Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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