know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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