the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize