just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize