I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
