Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
