so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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