And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
