Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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