allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
