Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
