Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
