I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
