You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
