My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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