So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She tied me up with her honor cords...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
