Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
