dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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