She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize