Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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