oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
im calling her cock vulture from now on
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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