Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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