Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
