The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
