i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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