:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We named our party play list daddy issues
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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