put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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