brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
