i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize