five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm gonna fight the coyote
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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