I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she was so not down for the gang bang
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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