im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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